Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Appalachian Trail No 2
5" x 7" Acrylic on Masonite Panel $150.00
I chose this stormy painting today because that is how my life feels right now. I feel as if I am in the midst of a terrible storm and the wind, rain, and life in general are buffeting me every which way.
My beast is often the emotional roller coaster I ride trying to find balance in my life.There have really only been a few things I wanted in life: to create beauty that inspires others to enjoy life to the fullest and appreciate the world we live in (whether it is in the music I sing or the various art forms I produce) AND to love and be loved by one person.
Making art is easy. Singing is easy. Making a living - now that is harder, but with persistence, perseverance, dedication, and discipline I truly believe anyone can be successful in the arts. Dream BIG and push the envelope. Expect more. Expect success. Expect people to want to help you along the way. Trust that what you do is right for you and don't let others push you into being different just for difference's sake. You don't have to be "edgy" to be an artist... You only have to be good. I seem to do OK with the art world. I have my differences at times with the gallery system (which is becoming obsolete because of artists marketing themselves on the Internet) and I recognize that I will never be a part of the edgy mainstream of trendy "ART". But I do well at my work and I attract buyers who recognize my talent, and my passion, and who want to be surrounded by beauty, not gore.
Love how-ever seems to be a different animal. I know people who have casual relationships and date the same people or persons for years and they are content with that. I also know people who build a marriage and settle for the safety of one person and the longevity of security.
I am not good at dating. Dating requires too much energy. And I believe in committing to a person the same as I do committing to my art. I've pretty much spent my whole life being an artist and not had much experience with being a partner in life. I don't believe in long term casual dating however. For me, if I really love someone and I believe in in spending a life together - then I mean TOGETHER. I am really struggling these days with the isolation of being an artist and also being someone who needs to give and get love on a daily basis. Being an artist often means working in the home environment. It means that every one around me deals with the fact that what I do is messy at times. And that I don't work on a regular 9-5 basis. (For instance I am writing this blog at 3 am around a project I am working on.) I have realized though that I want to live with the man of my dreams. I want a home life. I want to fall asleep with him every night and wake up with him every morning. I want to share his work, his passions, his fears, his successes, his failures, his LIFE. I also need to share my life with him - my messiness, my passion for a life lived now.... a life lived fully. Why is that so much to ask if you love someone?
Sometimes it feels like we have learned to put off our joy forever... always planning on "some-day, one-day" of retirement, of safety , of "one day" making the time for us instead of doing it today!
My roots are in the Appalachian Mountains of Virginia. Virginia Landscapes are what I do. A Virginia Landscape Painter is who I am. Because of that I need desperately to move out of the town I live in and get back to a place where people seem more real. A place where everyday I am surrounded by the air that fills my heart, the mountains that are my heritage, the beauty that is really the soul of the person I have become in this lifetime. But I can't do it alone. A life lived in isolation is not a life worth living for me. I am rapidly reaching the point where I realize that this life perhaps is not worth living. The Storm clouds are gathering.
Until next time,
Create Beauty and fill the world with love.